This blog was started almost six months ago in the hopes of being able to continuously write when I didn’t technically “have to” because of graduating college and becoming a so-called “adult”. But, I mean look how well that’s turned out. I honestly can’t remember the last time I sat down to post here! I can’t even think of the last time I sat down to write in my journal and that feels big and wrong and ugh why can’t I just turn off my brain and turn on my hands to write?
It’s funny how even when you have a million and one thoughts racing for first place/front of the line in your brain, you still can’t seem to put them into words. Do I want to talk about how my supposed best friend shit all over me? Do I want to talk about my job and how every day it’s a mixture of emotions (“am I doing okay? Maybe not. Maybe I am! Yes I’m doing okay!”, you know you know). Do I want to talk about how I miss my mom and all I really want to do is hug my brother and share an orange with my friend Brock? Not really, but I sure as shit want to write about all of that more than anything.
But I can’t. I can’t seem to turn the only thoughts I know into the words I never say, so I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone and forcing myself to write. Normally, I’d just tell myself that I’m going to write every day and if I don’t I don’t, but if I do–great! Why force it, ya know (which, might I add, tends to be my life motto w/ everything. “Why force finding a suitable boyfriend? It’ll happen!”, “Why force maintaining my caffiene addiction? It’ll maybe definitely not subside!”, etc.)? After this being the first thing I can honestly say I’ve “written” in the past…4-ish months (and ugh. I’ve drafted this about a million times because I just can’t seem to finish it) (sorry for all the parentheses), I need to force it–I need to. I need to! I’m going to. Okay. So let me tell you how I’m doing it.
I’m going to tackle NaNoWriMo for the first time ever and I can’t even begin to explain how petrified I am by this. I mean, I honestly cannot even fathom starting and finishing an entire novel in a month; it seems like a huge challenge–like..harder than trying to find a job in this economy almost (Okay, not really. Finding a job is obv, harder and now I’m getting off track so back to writing)! I think the most humorous thing is that their website says “READY TO WRITE A NOVEL?” Like, no. No I’m not ready. I’m really not, but I’m going to anyway, ya know? Because I need to just do something and zone out in it.
So, since i’m one thousand percent certain I cannot do this alone, I have recruited my dearest friend Katie. Together, we hope to write something that basically people can laugh at, and what’s funnier than bad dates/boyfriends/girlfriends/friends you’ve encountered, ya know? Life is funny! So we’re doing it. We start Nov. 1 and I kind of want to throw up just thinking about it. If you have any suggestions/comments/tips/tricks/submissions/stories you’d like to share or contribute so that I feel less barfy and more confident about this, please feel free to share them in the comments section or, ya know, drop me a line. That’d be splendid.
I feel like I need a Pepto now. This has been a blog post.